moonshadows, angels keep following us even to the beach & i'll try not to keep going here

on January 9th, 2010

i acknowledged/got mentally checkmarked as the first day we made it all the way through WITHOUT me crying. not even once.

There are places i'd love to GO

the first one that popped into my head (so i'm gonna just gonna go with it) Memphis to see Al Green preach this time.
i'd love to go to Tepec, Mexico because they got some fantasmic cactus there... Arkansas to see my big sister & her mother and Mine of course but now it's her turn to be the goood daughter. i wanna be Bad (just like Michael Jackson minus the dead part & pervy white-out monkey cray cray) Brooklyn - to see an old theatre geeek college roommate.   i'm always game to hit Big Sur on my way to San Francisco....

but there are some places i Do Not want to go.

i don't want to go back to the house where we used to all live. i hurt my own heart by mentally letting myself go there, even a little bit. and i sure as Hell don't wanna go back to the projects, neither! mostly - lately - i wanna go where we feel welcome; at home where there are no worries we'll be asked or want to leave. for the last six months i've been as nice as i know how to be, i've followed so many rules, tried to contain all of our rambunctiousnesses - as we slept on people's couches, rented out a room, now currently bartering a place to park our gypsywagon...i've been as fair as can be, even overly generous, i've worked my ass off to be of use. and still wherever we go,

we are not in a longterm fold, definitely temporary/transient reluctant short-timers.