Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Monday, August 27, 2007


And it goes a little somethin like this:
I could cry salty tears
... listen you
tell me true,
How long has this been goin' on?
Judy Garland has tears in her throat sometimes, when she sings, doesn't she?

This "piece" of peace or whatever you wanna call it....is "Flight."
only cuz I cared to name it. It's in the corner on the way from the dining room to the kitchen. Right after I hung it on the wall, I took a few steps back to feel some sense of accomplished relief...and I only miss him a little bit more. I wish he could see it and either tell me I'm weird or tell me he likes it/thinks it's cool. Most of the times when I do shit like this, he thinks I'm weird. But that's okay, I'm So used to it. Actually, I kinda like it.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

The Studies of a Nut

The things I do in my backyard to keep sane. Or mayhaps because I'm not. So sane. I dye my nuts purple. And orange. Lately it's blue. No lie.
I have nigglers. Yes, G. i said it. Things I have Got to get done. Before they get me. Like this

This is how I do it. I get sad. We go for a walk. I look for things on the ground because I really am lookin down. So then I got all these Found objects. And I always got the artsy fartsy. It's getting pretty bombastic too, as far as the art therapy aspect of it all. G. bein' gone is driving me fucking Crazy! I can't sleep at night. My back is hurting because my headaches. Everytime I look in the mirror i see him gone. And that really BUMZ me Out, man.

I gotta find my solace somewhere. So Found Art w/nuts. And Found Art without - it is.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

So long 3 legged strollie/Everything Old is New Again

I used to tool around town in this very strollie (with the Pop-pops window) when he was an infant. Then it got parked too close to the dump pile. It almost got included. If it wasn't for the three legged strollie's almost Constant flat tire (which was entirely too depressing) and the pitiful stares I got while perservering, my new/old strollie might have gotten consumed by the refuse and been swept along to the landfill. A good hose down and she's as good as new. Pivots on a dime which is impossible with a flat or even inflated 3 legged kind. Comfy as a motherfucker, too. Here's Pop-pops mid-lick...
I just love a good bargain. And a good bargain loves me!

Sssssssssssssssssay now, what have we here.....

So if you noticed the under-carriage action on our Hot not new but improved strollie - it's pretty spacious. And there's nothing that says Big bag of Dogfood like spacious undercarriage. Breakin' her in & off to the supermarket we went....I ran back in the house for my camera as I always do, telling myself I'll be sorry if I don't. And boy howdy was I ever right when we ran across (for real) this guy.

A nice relaxed
California Gopher snake.
Chillaxin' in the sun.
There is something shiver inducing and creepy about myself (& snakes!)that I love. Pop-pops was thrilled as well.

If this is any indication of the adventures we are going to have in our
great new/old friend.....Woo hooooo! Here she is, parked inside Vons,
so nobody steals her.

Saturday, August 18, 2007

I blame LittleFoot

At 7:30 the next morning (after the going away party) Pop-pops woke up. He knew something was Up. He was extra clingy, which takes some doing. Ohhh Brother, lovings. He did not want to be put down. So G. decides to put on The Land Before Time. The really sad dinosaur movie where the mother dies. And according to that selfish little bastard LittleFoot (her son) it was all her fault "She shoulda known better than to fight those Sharpteeth". I hate this fucking movie...The cute little dinosaur sees it's lengthened shadow and thinks it's his mom, chasing after her all happy to see her. Pathetic. I started stifling my sad tears right then and there. What a dope! It was like preparing for a prize fight in the boxing ring by engaging in a street fight just before. It didn't take much to knock my block off. Even this didn't cheer me None.

By the time I hugged him goodbye I was quaking....I've never fucking quaked before in my Whole Life. I wanted so bad not to cry. I wanted him to see me proud and in control. I wanted to be so happy for him that it would outweigh the sad. I wanted to feel strong. So I sobbed, instead. All that big talk about not being a pussy: out the window. Happy had said her goodbyes and gone back to sleep. Happy was sleeping on the job, in more ways than one. Even now, a week later, I'm still in the shittiest of moods. We talk on the phone daily, we e-mail and I visit his blog. But I still feel like there's something wrong with me. I keep mentally harping on the fact the fact that I didn't kiss him goodbye. Which made me mentally hopscotch to a story I sometimes mull over. In a macabre downward spiral....Happy went to the Museum of Tolerance and came away with this story I've inprinted in my brain of a young Jewish mother who was torn away from her baby boy. She was begging the guard who was holding him, "Please! just let me kiss him goodbye!"

You can sure as hell bet the next time I see G. A kiss on each cheek, the forehead, the chin and then pow right on the kisser. I didn't think that it would be this way. I didn't think it would be this hard. I thought that I would be okay. Or at least Not this much of a wimp. Huh, You learn somethin' new everyday.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Giving this Humble Hovel the old Heave Ho

So G. has this cool chick for a friend...Her name is Chelsea, she's a year older and is going to the city college in San Francisco. They have combined forces and hit the city armed with craigslisted rooms for rent contacts and their newly roommated wits about them. Plus, her dad rented them a nice motel for a coupla days. Whatta cool dad, huh? Job & house hunting was their mission. They kicked ass.

This is G.'s new city.
G.'s New Abode!! The studio at the top of the concretestairs. They can see the city college from their front lawn/bushes...SFSU in just a fifteen minute busride. $500 smackers a month - each kid. A washer & dryer, a fridge, central heating all utilities included, Cable (oh the upgrades)...and G. was so youthfully impressed that they get a water cooler with a Hot Water spiget for tea! A righteous luxury. He'll be living the High Life....Oh Tortilla Mary: full of grace, she really did answer my prayers this time.
The day he got back he was into this huge propulsion mode. Flappin around here throwing his old clothes out and then riding the bike to the bank to get the Cashier Check of his life! He's procured a very nice roof over his very own head and that sure is something, ain't it?

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Hell YeAH! G. is ON his way!!

My very Firstborn, the one & only G.
is almost officially flown outta the nest.
SFSU here he comes as August 23 is his
first day of college. Will ya just look at
this fledgeling with his legs in the Push-off
position....and so fucking smart he knows just where and how high he can fly!

The Quintessentially Cool Big Brother will sure as hell be missed in this house.

Good brothers are hard to find.
His love of reading has served him well. Just like the other day when he was breezin thru the interwebs and happened upon the question of SAT's. In particular, were his scores higher than the man in the highest office Mr. Asswipe himself, Dumb Fucker Bitch -President (gag) Bush: Now sometimes I'm amazed at how smart G. really is but it didn't even surprise me when he found out Ole Dead Man Walkin/War Monger's scores were indeed Lower. G. is just smart like that. He is So Ready for higher learning. And I am so stoked that he's stoked that he's finally getting to GO.

I ain't gonna cry neither...
So Long, G. Farewell and may the road rise up to meet you, son! I am one proud mama who endeavors to NOT be a big pussy about this and get all weepy and over-emotional. I'll ask Happy to slap me, like Cher did in Moonstruck : "Snap Out of It!" Only because I love him so much I'm bound to be a big fucking mess....

Bye G.

I Love You. Now Go and....you know.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Fun with Pix & Changa

There is nothing in this world like undoing a very tight braid (especially if braided when wet). Bumpy waves of head rubbing goodness. Add a lil lip gloss (not stick) and a macrame choker necklace made by G. especially for me...and I feelz like kickin' some ass! Lookout aye, my great grandmother was a full blooded Yaqui Indian. I can feel it running thru my veins.

Friday, August 03, 2007

I need to get a new truck and a new dolly. A hodgepodge post

I really do like public transportation. A lot. And not just because I don't own a car....It's only $1.75 to get to San Luis Obispo where Happy and I went to join the elite Allied Forces at G.'s Queer Youth Group meeting. It was bring an Ally Night. I met a very nice woman who kept gazing at us 3 then told me I make beautiful babies! Such a cool outta the blue compliment.

We sat around a table and checked in/introduced ourselves. I sat between my two bigger kids (Pop-pops threw a last minute tantrum and wanted to stay w/Nana. Fine wit me) Happy & G. and I could feel the love. I felt a little bit like a movie star.

And now I'm in the mood to call a spade a spade only I can't figure out if I like these yard tools because they symbolize my POVERTY, Ingenuity or ECCENTRICITY....

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

SFSU Freshman get Orientation: So We hit Chinatown, this time.

G. has become my Favourite Co-pilot, ever. Also he had just been to San Francisco with his old boss (to the Opera!) so he knew where he wanted to go and show me.

We drank all the free tea in China....well almost, until Pop-pops got bored and rumbly.

Which indicated it was time for another trip to the gumball machine. And his new favourite thing: bribery. A 25 cent gumball goes a long way. Even the pink spitty one that rolled away.

The day was sunny and warm enuf for Pop-pops to get semi nekkers and drenched in the park sprinklers! Hicks, I tell ya....We really do know how to enoy ourselves while we are outta town.

G. is a fierce and happy young dragon....he wears size 46 kung fu shoe! And he just found out while being orientated that he is exempt from regular old freshman english and math because he took so many AP classes while in high school. So now his schedule is all freed up for more Music! Music. Music.

How fun it is to be a total tourist and think,

"oh look, REAL Chinese laundry." It was a very good trip.
Yes! California Cuisine is all healthy and raw and really really good for you.
It's just that my tastebuds don't like things that taste like stale-ass cracker/cardboard with a little ugly pile of smashed black and green olives. Or perhaps as G. said, like only a very young man new to the city would : "That was the most Expensive ass Pretentious lunch I've ever eaten." That there to
your left was my lunch called "abundance" Oh please, it was a few crappy crackers and some shitty little melon ball scoops of
hummus & smooshed olive....And here goes our luncheon conversation:

"Brother, give me the knife."
"Give me the knife, brother."
We don't get out much.
All that or rather not much of that very healthy food we ate for lunch:
just made me want to eat one of them "world's greatest donuts." that were just down the street.