okay so now i'm learning the lyrics to Ave Maria

Staying with my friend who teaches American Sign Language. Her house is very Rooomy/way Nice; she's the most hospitable chick with a big boisterous family that just goes on (happily & normally)about their familial business. Zoe the dog is relaxed for the first time in 6 months! Pop-pops is being all squished & squishy! Things are Good Again so i  feel (when my friend who is letting us live w/her for a bit  - omg when she totally signs a song called Hallelujah in Soprano WITH HER HANDS)...Poppity Pops, Zoe Pearl and i are in the presence of  the most hopeful/comforting of angels, for real. It's very very Beautiful.

Sometimes my OUTLOOK is Unfocused

mostly when i'm fucking Stressed & worried as all Hell about a roof over our head

..but then, when i happen to look Thru it? Instead of (all the time) @ it - aforementioned Outlook expanded homeless schmomeless state of affairs...

[pretty cool lookin']

Justa Keep on Keepin' On

Fuck YOU, Homelessness!!! & you can KISS my ASS!!

OH! this kid of mine! Thank you, Tortilla Mary

for letting me be his mother. i Love him SO! from the top of his cowlicked head to the tips of his dancing dirty little bare feetz

amen.

Spilt Coffeeman

knocked my mug over onto a paper plate and There he was! sometimes art is accidental embelished. that's how we roll around here, plus i keep spillin' my damn coffee!! travel mugs with no handles that are Tall and cylindrical are Not a good idea. but i do Love coffee....

The Bus! The busss the bus the bus the busss & how we still love it

How YOU doooooinn??

It's Saturday night, ya'll & this is where i am:
the more times i've rolled one of them goddam rolling suitcases like a vagrant...the higher my chin got!  also: it helps when i picked out the slutty animal print suitcases....i've been dabbling in the self portraiture otra ves which is taking me longer to get the hang of. and i still highly recommend it. just to see where you're At.

You gotta have Hope!

night time in the Gypsy Wagon. i like to think i'm a good cozymaker....

i bought this video on a whim plus it was only ninety cents. Bob Hope Bloopers! omg, i laughed so hard. Angie Dickenson is crazy sexy, don't you think??

while i'm not quite freeeee to say this: i might be learning to be @ home

wherever the Fuck I Am! ha....and can feel the sun setting on a time of trial but i Don't wanna jinx myself

do i feeel as insecure as i sound cuz you don't know the half of it!

soundtrack to our days right now

1. i can see clearly now the rain is gone
2. everything is comin' our way
3. i got a brand new pair of rollerskates AND a tiger by the tail (it's plain ta see!)
4. take this job and shove it
5. baby got back/gimme one reason to stay here- mash up

& i saved the best for last:
#6 - Amazing Grace

i LIKE being easily pleased by the mundane (it organizes my jitters sometimes)

I've been keeping a secret

And it's a doooozey!!

something i've been looking to come clean about for months now. i just figured out not two minutes ago that it's stunting my growth, aye. For real. everytime i think about writing almost anywhere i think: "oh fuck, i gotta write about That." i gotta get it out of my system so here it goes. at the baseline & i'm going to just blurt it out in all of it's ghetto gutwrench - my youngest's babydaddy thought it was a good idea to try to beat me Up at the storage unit. With our child strapped in his carseat in a front row seat,  First he went to strangle me but i couldn't let Pop-pops see that happen so i curled away from him and ended up getting punched viciously in the back and side. As far as beatings go, i think my sister could have caused more damage -although it was still scary as hell for the loooose cannon aspect of it. his kid yelling at him to stop was what saved me. that and i called
9-1-1 -  in Nipomo that means the sherriff and the highway patrol showed up.  so we had to deal with the

po-po asking All Kindsa questions and him lying and saying he may have pushed me. after so much dishonesty w/the he said part of the he said she said i looked Up (ha!) and saw the storage units' surveillance camera pointed Directly at my mother's storage. i pointed it out to the nosy copper and told him the proof is in the pudding. they slapped the handcuffs on and Pop-pops saw his hero get arrested... it was like a Criminal Intent episode...i am now a member of the special victims unit. it sucks but it's also me bottoming out which involves me seeking sanctuary from so much more than Domestic Violence. In with this snow/shitballing;  all this homeless BULLshit and crying too much about it... brought me to the Women's Shelter. Their legal department first because i have to now deal with scary shit like 3yr restraining orders against an Angry angry man...but Something very important happened at The Women's Shelter: The women that work there took us under their wings. Which has been an amazing grace. so fucking sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I tore that song out of an old piano book. I'm learning the 2nd verse by heart. Did you know the very last sentence to that second verse is this:

"And Grace shall lead me home"? it is. and this is the hour i first believe. Even though it's gotten this awful, just me getting it out of my head on here....is a big step. And i just took it.