Tuesday, May 15, 2007


Back in February some chick named Corey called me from The Loading Dock, a really cool cafe bistro art gallery place. I had taken some funky little ladders to see if they wanted to sell them or show them or I don't know how to do stuff like that. Deep inside my delusions of grandeur, I thought I would impress them so much (plus I went to St. Mary's with one of the owners) they would give me my own show and I could invite my family for the cheese and the wine part of my dream. Well, Corey was putting on a "Spring Fair" and wanted to know if I was interested in participating. I paid $20 to set my artsy fartsy up in the fucking parking lot with a buncha other "crafters". Everytime people passed that little spot of my soul laid out on the table for sale (just $25!) they would read the above sign and a genuine smile would cross their face. Then they would walk on. I packed up Every item I came with. Not one thing sold. And I was Out twenty bucks.

9 comments:

Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines said...

Was this the "recently I learned not to sell stuff" event you mention in your profile holder?

Hey, don't feel bad. I tried to sell my body but there were no takers. I did get an offer to be the "before" photo at a weight loss place (from my sagging chest on down to my disgusting flabby pouchy belly) but I turned it down.

changapeluda said...

Oh Buffy,
You make me laugh. I love you.
Are you sure you don'e believe in
you know what?
We'd make quite the team!

Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines said...

Here's what I believe in: the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening presents on Christmas morning instead of Christmas Eve. And I believe in long, slow, deep, wet kisses that last three days.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

Oh, shit, stop, I'm killing myself. Wait, here it comes againHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH

/wipes tears of laughter away from one remaining good eye
//believes in nothing
///sorry I'm such a nihilist

Beta Fishy said...

I think that it is a brilliant sign. Don't feel bad, all the greatest artists were not appreciated in their day.

Also did I get the day right? Or was it last week or yesterday? I went back looking for a post of the day, and thought it was today. Goodness I hope so.

changapeluda said...

Buffy: Ewww, yuck. Kevin Costner is kinda gweebish. :0]


Beta: June 6th. But that's okay, I'll take it!

Beta Fishy said...

Yeah - I was right the second time. I found the first post and stopped. That is what I get for being lazy.

Well - huge and warm happy un-birthday hugs to you. Texas style.

Kirsten said...

I can't believe you didn't sell any ladders! What was that other stuff on your table that I couldn't see too well?

Now you can give them the guilt trip and ask for a real art show. Tell them that Art doesn't sell well in parking lot craft shows.

Girl of Approval said...

I would enjoy a ladder. I would have bought one. I would hang it in my bedroom. :)

Heartful said...

They don't know what they're missing, clearly, none of them will climb very high in the world, but you are!!