Futzing with my View Picture and wanting to know which one i should pick that most indicates my Cleanliness, all lickety split like

which got me to thinkin' - Just how clean am i?

the air i breathe is pretty clean, i take big huge gulps of it at a time. This was taken underneath my neighbor's walnut tree. i might use this picture because it reminds me to take a good deep breath.

you know what? i feel like comin' clean about a silly little fact/problem i have when my picture gets taken: it's with my lips, i'm overly self conscious of them and i can't get the shape of them to Just Relax. so to get my mind off of my lips i think of a "motivation" and in this next pic, my motivation was to look like i want to KICK Somebody's ASS. This is my best Chola Veterana face. I feel tough when i see this. Plus it's got my best beloved beater kodak camera in it.

i did a lot of prep work [weeding, watering & washing] for this next picture. I really like and appreciate Armour All...i wonder if i've been showing my face too much around here and i wonder just how vain i am to post so many pix of my mug. to kinda get away from that narcistic bend, i may choose this picture as a nice clean breakaway.

side note:

my cousin called and he wants his stolen (that's one of them, all lovely and clean and pictured above) Model A rims back (only hello!my brother stole them from my mom's yard so he's not gettin' 'em) he even wants to know how much money i want. Little does he know how priceless Justice really is...when i asked what he planned on doing with them, he told me he had just gone to a car show & saw some nice ones just like these, that he
"wants to keep ahold of them" so i politely told him hell no but that i would call him if i changed my mind. i was super nice about it but after i hung up the phone, i flipped it the bird with both hands.

This is my fantasy kick ass/badass de la fregada fully prepared to take anyone on - a stance i think is necessary to take when you Do Not want to be messed with. Seriously. And i'm not that serious of a person. Seriously wacky, maybe.

Are you even wondering whose ass it is i want to kick?? Blackmailers of cool people and in Not a big surprise, even though i Still don't completely know what's going on, i have kind of an urge to kick my brother's but mostly my sister in law's ass. Okay, I really just want to kick her ass. BAD. Sorry about the violent tendency, it's the truth that i must come clean about here & can only get the whole truth - for sure - from Myself. I cannot believe my brother as he told my mom that the house is somehow Not in foreclosure (huh?), the mortgage company wants to work with them and he wants to refinance and lower the payments.... my sister in law doesn't want to make payments Anymore. She's done. She wants to hate us. I don't want to hate her. I just want to kick her ass.

but i only get like that when i think about how they screwed my mother and themselves, all of us really - Over. I don't think about that too much. I'm successful at the acting like an ostrich (is it?) and burying my head in the sand. I try to just Live here/savour and really Enjoy our time at home while we still have it. i may pick this pic for the colorfulness factor and i know how crazily all over the place i'm being but.... All's i know is right now, in this moment, writing this post feels really really good. Writing does this to me. It's its own form of art therapy.

I been doing a lot of Art Therapy. Building and painting and finding and gluing....i just finished Futzing with all of these pictures which i find tremendously relaxing/ gratifying. What makes it the Art part of the therapy for me (in my book, anyway) is when i look at the pictures i take - after i crop them and manipulate them and sometimes take all the color out of them, sometimes put all the color in that i can stand...when i'm done with it, i know i've gotten to My heart of the matter. No matter how strange and junky it is.

Also: I might as well come clean about this, too....strange and junky indeedy. All this junk in my trunk. This is a longass post, isn't it?

Okay, here it is.... lickety split before i chicken out: i'm having a lot of clean fun bein' a little naughty/dirty. That is IF you think Nude self-portraits are dirty. Which i absolutely don't. They're mostly just naughty. It's scandalous, a little bit....I take naked pictures of my own body and i like it. There i said it. Harmless stuff, really. Here i am Experiencing some brown sugared Sultry Saturday Night Proclivities/ooh laa la, involving a lil nakedness and the discreet digital camera.....it makes me feel sexy and powerfully free.

I cropped the hell outta this pic because i don't want to offend/scare/gross anyone out. It's best to leave the rest of my clean self up to the imagination. Or not. In my poor G.'s case - my biggest son has already been exposed to the breastfeeding of Pop-pops for Yeears....when on more than one occasion the dreadful weaner would just stop and expose me for flashingz....G. would just shrug his shoulder as if to say...."oh well" no use cryin over spilt milk For Real.....So hopefully this ain't nothin to him....I DO want to point out i am doing this in solidarity with someone. I very often get my motivation from watching this beautiful woman march to the tune of her Own Drumroll please. This partial portion of my Post is brought to you by the elegantly funky Miss Suzi Blu. I aspire to be as brave and prolific as her one day. This one's for you baby, con carino de su Nipomo Girl.

Well! i must say in doing this post and having this fun; i have decided i might choose the second to the last one.... because it's sometimes Cleansing to state the Obvious:

we are all naked under our clothes, you know. And Like Janis learned the other day on the train...tomorrow never comes, man. It's all the Same Fucking Day, man....a Missourian flashback ya'll. Just for the occasion...it's kinda momentous to me anyway that i posted semi-nude pix of myself on the internetz! I'm kinda rockin' my own world. And it's just so silly and slightly vacuous.

perfect place for a flashback from when G., Ruby and i lived in Missouri.

i just now remembered this:

There's A groovy nude of Janis Joplin in my friend Melissa's kitchen. I used to be a prude so her nipple got covered with a little sticker of a fish....

I've come a long way from being a prude, and since i learned i can't be a spinster...i made as well be an exhibitionist/nekkid... Big ole leap...& In honor of that, i personally encourage whoever reads this post to have a little clean fun their own selves. Snap some pix of your privates, it's interesting and you don't have to tell anybody (except me, if you want). I bet once you get over the little bit of shock, you'll have a whole lotta fun. Digital cameras were made for shit like this. Don't you agree?