so this morning i decided what i really want to do is hang out with a buncha whores and make art

only with my luck, they'd probably put me in charge of the daycare

The Bank Knockers Return

I answered the door to some dude named James OUTland! hah! I wonder how much he knew just how Badly i wanted to kick his ass/eradicate him/say
"be off! before another house falls on you, too!"



he said he had come around earlier but that Zoe had scared him off. i didn't think it was possible to love that ole dog anymore than i already do....so apparently there is some kinda weird ass dangling carrot program called "cash for keys" in which CountryWide Bank gets realtors (ew) to do their dirty-ass work (fitting). They want us Out by March 20...that would be Less than 30 days. And if we did get Completely Out, all personal effects Off the property, we get $3500! Wow, it never occured to me that being an Evictress could be profitable.

I politely declined and told them i have spoken with a lawyer who informed me that we are entitled to 120 days(minor children, disabled mother). Also, that their offer of money was a total surprise and something i don't really consider important. i got the idea he was hoping to play on my greed. Fuck that noise, Greed is what got us in this damn predicament in the first place. What i DO consider important is that we extend our time here so that my daughter who is a diligent senior (even threw in her 4.25gpa for good measure and as if he cared)@ Nipomo High School- that she be allowed to graduate without the turmoil of being fucking homeless.

They said they'd get back to me Wednesday.

For my friend Den'Al

FORECLOSURE ALERT: While i was being sentimental

calmly uploading pictures of Zoe the dog on her tribute post: The HOUSE SOLD! Back to CountryWide bank for $148,000. huh....this might mean (if they were the heartless bastards that put up the auction block notice on New Year's EVE) they (The Bank Knockers) could show up any minute now with Dumpster Bins and more scary-ass notices.

G.'s St. Jude on Friday the 13th

When trying to accomplish toooo many things and G. gets burnt out, i like to remind him to smile and hopefully laugh/enjoy being such an accomplished young gentleman ALREADY. He cut all his gorgeous hair! He's a double major (!), my G. is now in his second year @ San Francisco State University - but if he takes summer classes he'll officially be a SENIOR. Gah.

i love it.

It puts things into perspective for me

When the clouds are bigger than the house

La Llorona otra ves

the other day i was actually crying because i don't want my dog to die! My Zoe Pearliest is the best dog ever in my whole life. It feels like she's always been with me and i don't want to be without her. She's our Sentinel and she loves me regardless.

see how i am? you have to click on this to even READ it. omg

Who Rang that Bell??!?

And who the hell am i trying to FOOL?? With my tearful "brave" face. Lookin' down the barrel @ Friday the Thirteenth and the delayed Auction Block. Is somebody going to buy our house? Is nobody going to buy it for a few months? At least until Happy graduates from Nipomo High School (this June)?? Why don't i just move out right now to end all this suspense?? Pre-evict myself and take my little evictlings with me? But Where? more impotently WHY? ( i LOVE it here) Little Josie said even Zoe could come and live with her. The projects in Guadalupe are pretty nice. And i mean that sincerely.... also i am so pissed off at myself for wasting hours trying to upload a goddam picture in which i had flipped the HAPPY around and lightened it up a little ( i am all the time trying to lighten things UP!)....only i couldn't save it and it wouldn't replace this one i had to settle for because it's stuck in "my pictures" even though i Don't want it.
sometimes i get so mad at the computer for me not knowing how to use the damn thing.

An Archmonger's Dream come true

Once he taught me how, i couldn't stop making them! The best boss i ever had at one of the very best jobs: my dad & rough framing. Arches were the first somewhat complicated custom extra i ever did learn. It's the sexy way they roundly soften things w/their magic semi-circleness & old school charm. who knew Roman stuctural design could be so addictive? my dad Hooked me Up. oh i'm a lucky lucky girl because he had sooo much patience and he wasn't a strict or fussy teacher. he loved what he did for a living and i loved him. All the arches in here are the direct result of that. I got to dream them up, measure then bang them out and nail them in. each arch tells me a sweet and satisfying construction story... Okay, now here's the part where i must come clean w/my desire to commemorate and my disdain of the glory hog. it's makin' me feel like i'm resting on my laurels when i'm running outta time. it's just that i want them to live on

(inanimate curved openings of my heart).




Arched Ninja! a beautiful black stealthy one at that!

GOING so soon? I wouldn't hear of it! Why, my little party is just begining!!

Remember how Dorothy was so stoked when she said,

"I'm home, Auntie Em. Home!"

& she explained how she'd been trying to get there for days & days?
well...today that happened to me; out in the backyard. i felt as if i owned the place! and under my bare feets, i felt the tall grass out in that yard like i've never felt it before; like it belonged to me and i belonged right where i was. Fixin' to texturize my latest, red hot 36" bigheart o'planks....i think i might have fuckered it up by BURNING it. Gah! Now, wtf was my reasoning behind that? other than i just wanted a little blackened charcoal shiny around the edges. Too bad i forgot those planks were treated plus the red dyes i let soak in plus probably other horrid toxins all ignited in my heart then billowed up in a long white plume of yucka smoke! i gathered up my tiny pyro w/his handful of twigs he kept trying to burn, plopped him in the tall green lovely grass (upwind) while i held my breath & extracted my singed thirty-six incher from the pyre. It looks patchy burnt up. I shoulda never threw it on the fire. that was kinda mean also i've not taken pix of it in this mistaken stage because i'm not so enamored with it. Maybe i'll put it back in it's custom vat of scarlet dye.
Anywhoo,
Pop-pops sure was happy to have a little bonfire. After that, i made breakfast (chile quilay, ya'll) for dinner. And my family was replete...And That is the way my day went down, here in Nipomo. I love you, G. and i miss you somethin' fierce.

Oh, what a beautiful Mess