This was a very UN-happy Tuesday in August....when she came home in tears - Completely upset, i'd say pretty Freaked out. Some dumb fucker bitch in a white lifted truck with quads (all terrain four wheelers) - filled with Assholes drove by Happy on her way home from high school. Yelling their fool heads off, they threw something at her that "kinda exploded". She thought maybe it was an orange. I thought maybe it was too, in my highly sensitized mindset I caught a whiff of citrus as she was standing there almost hyperventilating. Poor little girl, she was Shaking so I hugged/comforted her as best as I could, her eyes were humongous, filled with tears. She flung those tears right off her cheek when she twirled & asked if I saw any orange on her back....I was relieved to Not find any rotten fruit but determined to find out what the fuck it was they threw. So I loaded Pop-pops up in the strollie. With the trusty dog Zoe Pearl by my side, we set out like CSI Nipomo. I went and investigated the scene of the crime.
It was eggs. Those fuckers. Poor Hapless Happy trying to get home with her new class schedule: fucked with like that. What if those pieces of shit were driving around doing that to other people? We needed to report that. Which I'm doing right now to all of yous, but on a local level, we had to turn to the Po-po.
The Poh lice. Yeah, well they didn't give a shit. Didn't even call us back and we left our names and number. So Happy took justice and precautions into her own hands. We had to walk up to Von's to get something for dinner. She was hungry for some Vengeance.... If that truck full of slug vomit was to pass our way again - check out that chunk of blacktop she's got in her right hand. After Happy had simmered down, I explained to her that her cell phone that takes pictures was the smarter weapon.