For my friend Den'Al

FORECLOSURE ALERT: While i was being sentimental

calmly uploading pictures of Zoe the dog on her tribute post: The HOUSE SOLD! Back to CountryWide bank for $148,000. huh....this might mean (if they were the heartless bastards that put up the auction block notice on New Year's EVE) they (The Bank Knockers) could show up any minute now with Dumpster Bins and more scary-ass notices.

G.'s St. Jude on Friday the 13th

When trying to accomplish toooo many things and G. gets burnt out, i like to remind him to smile and hopefully laugh/enjoy being such an accomplished young gentleman ALREADY. He cut all his gorgeous hair! He's a double major (!), my G. is now in his second year @ San Francisco State University - but if he takes summer classes he'll officially be a SENIOR. Gah.

i love it.

It puts things into perspective for me

When the clouds are bigger than the house

La Llorona otra ves

the other day i was actually crying because i don't want my dog to die! My Zoe Pearliest is the best dog ever in my whole life. It feels like she's always been with me and i don't want to be without her. She's our Sentinel and she loves me regardless.

see how i am? you have to click on this to even READ it. omg

Who Rang that Bell??!?

And who the hell am i trying to FOOL?? With my tearful "brave" face. Lookin' down the barrel @ Friday the Thirteenth and the delayed Auction Block. Is somebody going to buy our house? Is nobody going to buy it for a few months? At least until Happy graduates from Nipomo High School (this June)?? Why don't i just move out right now to end all this suspense?? Pre-evict myself and take my little evictlings with me? But Where? more impotently WHY? ( i LOVE it here) Little Josie said even Zoe could come and live with her. The projects in Guadalupe are pretty nice. And i mean that sincerely.... also i am so pissed off at myself for wasting hours trying to upload a goddam picture in which i had flipped the HAPPY around and lightened it up a little ( i am all the time trying to lighten things UP!)....only i couldn't save it and it wouldn't replace this one i had to settle for because it's stuck in "my pictures" even though i Don't want it.
sometimes i get so mad at the computer for me not knowing how to use the damn thing.

An Archmonger's Dream come true

Once he taught me how, i couldn't stop making them! The best boss i ever had at one of the very best jobs: my dad & rough framing. Arches were the first somewhat complicated custom extra i ever did learn. It's the sexy way they roundly soften things w/their magic semi-circleness & old school charm. who knew Roman stuctural design could be so addictive? my dad Hooked me Up. oh i'm a lucky lucky girl because he had sooo much patience and he wasn't a strict or fussy teacher. he loved what he did for a living and i loved him. All the arches in here are the direct result of that. I got to dream them up, measure then bang them out and nail them in. each arch tells me a sweet and satisfying construction story... Okay, now here's the part where i must come clean w/my desire to commemorate and my disdain of the glory hog. it's makin' me feel like i'm resting on my laurels when i'm running outta time. it's just that i want them to live on

(inanimate curved openings of my heart).




Arched Ninja! a beautiful black stealthy one at that!

GOING so soon? I wouldn't hear of it! Why, my little party is just begining!!

Remember how Dorothy was so stoked when she said,

"I'm home, Auntie Em. Home!"

& she explained how she'd been trying to get there for days & days?
well...today that happened to me; out in the backyard. i felt as if i owned the place! and under my bare feets, i felt the tall grass out in that yard like i've never felt it before; like it belonged to me and i belonged right where i was. Fixin' to texturize my latest, red hot 36" bigheart o'planks....i think i might have fuckered it up by BURNING it. Gah! Now, wtf was my reasoning behind that? other than i just wanted a little blackened charcoal shiny around the edges. Too bad i forgot those planks were treated plus the red dyes i let soak in plus probably other horrid toxins all ignited in my heart then billowed up in a long white plume of yucka smoke! i gathered up my tiny pyro w/his handful of twigs he kept trying to burn, plopped him in the tall green lovely grass (upwind) while i held my breath & extracted my singed thirty-six incher from the pyre. It looks patchy burnt up. I shoulda never threw it on the fire. that was kinda mean also i've not taken pix of it in this mistaken stage because i'm not so enamored with it. Maybe i'll put it back in it's custom vat of scarlet dye.
Anywhoo,
Pop-pops sure was happy to have a little bonfire. After that, i made breakfast (chile quilay, ya'll) for dinner. And my family was replete...And That is the way my day went down, here in Nipomo. I love you, G. and i miss you somethin' fierce.

Oh, what a beautiful Mess

The Jungle VIP

unfutzed w/pictures out my front door

i really need to brush off my cobwebs and put that finishing carpentry jazz i learned to good use is what i think.

the evening blue storm cloudy sky was just amazing to me, though. it looked like a painting or something computer generated and i did nothing to enhance it but take the picture, upload and post it....
all that blue is just the nature of it.
well Whoop-di-Doooo! we got another postponement of our home being auctioned off at the damn foreclosure sales....this time we were bestowed 2 more weeks and three more days and i am not making this shit up when i say our lucky day (ha!) is
Friday the 13th.

Broke 'er in!

The variable speed was on the fastest and it still took me way longer than i remembered it could....i was really pushing that saw when i realized just how Thick those planks are. The saber tooth saw blade is tiny, when you think about it. It did the job, though. I cut it Out! my biggest heart ever. Now it's time to take that rusty ole rasp along it's edges....today is more Auction Block. It got posponed until Tuesday....
I figured out the tone of my re-action to what we are going thru; it's an almost Defiance/La la la life goes on. Fuck it, i'm not gonna be all sad all the time

and on that note: Happy Tuesday, everyone! Hope it's a Good One.

When the bulldozers come

wonder if they'd tear the house down if happy greeted them at the door. her whole family right there behind her....holding hands. And for the Super Duper Dramatic Flourish - my heart is at their feet.

this post is dedicated to all the arches my dad &/then i built

If You Make Me Feel Like a Natural Woman

wasn't such a tampon commercial theme song....i would sing it All the time! i sang it to Pop-pops in the backseat of the car. Oh I was sangin' like i MEANT it because i did....the aw baby what ya done to me part. that kid really does make me feel so good inside....it's pretty much phenomenal & i do feel like i'm a natural woman. I really do. Like i wanna pull someone into my bosom and hug them tight. Like i want to make somebody some warmmm & delicious food, maybe some actual mexican cuisine w/some hot chile and heat up 'em up some corn tortillas smeared w/avocado or cheeeeese & tucked under a soft warming dish-towl/cloth on the table..one after another until We are nice & full...Also like i could go outside and round up some planks i saved from the dumpster and take to them..Powers saw them in half if i want w/trusty power saw AND a brand spankin' new jigsaw  - to make  something curved out of wood. - a new saw, just for the occasion. This all makes me feeel so Alive!

Also: i don't care how many people make fun of it, i kinda liked Aretha Franklin's hat.

Yesterday was so Beautiful

I got All caught up in the Pomp and forgot my circumstance!

The Bank Knockers Came only they didn't knock

time keeps on slippin slippin slippin into the future, aye! So this happened to us on New Year's Eve, for some deliberately horrid timing...Now that is just tragically Mean, IMHO. Happy New Year's to you, too CountryWide cocksuckers. AGAIN. Why we gotta be in the dark all the time about this? Gah! But i forget how dark it is when i got my head buried in the sand. That PW'd brother of mine won't answer ANYone's calls for authorization to release any damn info! Aren't ostriches the weirdest fucken birds ever?
also:
Couldn't the Bank Knockers with the scary papers have waited 'til Monday?? Nothin' you could do about it thru the holidays but have shitty news sittin' in your lap. in the form of some lawyerly gibberish in 7 different languages & a notice of trustee sale...The Ole Auction block. And it was supposed to happen on January 22nd at 11:30am. Only it got postponed. i'm hoping it stays that way. forever.

happy epiphany day to you too

C.M.B.

Tortilla Mary, tambien!

The Time has come for my brother to darken our door with the Dreaded News