Saturday, November 10, 2007

The bus! The BUS! The bus the bus the bus: San Francisco Style

So this time around, we had the most interesting dramatic gut wrenchingly frightful and injurious (poor Pop-pops lost the first layer of skin on both sides of his ring finger to the fuckin cup holder [on the Amtrak bus] that pinched, bruised then trapped as we tried to pull the lil digit Out and the piece of shit cupholder fucking collapsed right on his hand as he screamed us into a vortex of sssshhh sssh ssshhhh...cried himself to sleepiness) transportation situations. The most trippy bus rides. Ever in our lives. 2 of them. A close third was the last one we took w/G to the Amtrak station on the Embarcadero. A 45 minute ride all the way across San Francisco on Mission St. The Munni bus is loooong and crushingly crowded at 7am, especially when the unregulated back bus door opens for people who don't have to pay. It's Impossible to get to the front/busdriver/till with the people packed in like pickles, (the kosher dill spear kind). Nobody's there to tell these picklepacked busriders that it Is Very unsafe to be smashing us into one another or to be in the little stairwall to the door w/one's Face smooshed against the glass. Crazy overwhelmingly crowded and Fun! G. & I stood facing each other while balancing Pop-pops perched on his folded up strollie, it was exciting and i was thoroughly enjoying myself. Only a littly panicky when we were getting Shoved towards the window. That's when the nice woman let us sit as she had to work her way against the herd of incoming non-paying backdoor people. And we, too, were a dollar fifty richer free-riders cuz we had done the same thing; but Not to not pay as i had my paper dollar & fitty sense All ready. You have to put the dollar bill in the bus money taker like it's a change making machine - all flat/face up and put the coins in a seperate slot. While holding a squirmy two yr old and managing a heavy stroller, as the bus takes off, it's quite a balancing feat. G., Pop-pops and I almost didn't take the oh so crowded bus thinking we could wait for the next one because this one was oh so crowded. Then we looked at the time and realized we'd miss the Train Home (hello!) so we had no choice. We were standing in front of the back doors when we realized this - So thru the back doors we went. Getting from point A to point B in San Francisco is a wild ride. Although if you ask G., he says the thrill for him is gone.

This is what the Munni bus looks like on the inside, right after the mass exodus (people move in herds) and before this trio of free-riders got out. To catch the bus to catch the train.
Here's the second of the jacked up busrides:

the one i mentioned earlier w/the heinous cupholder incident: OMG. Very nearly at the end of That busride; I was seriously scared for our lives when we went down the Cuesta Grade. Scare the piss outta you steep and winding. When you start out so High Up it feels like you are careeeeening down down down also twisting and turning and Braking - - - as close as possible to the futile little posts on the side of this Mountainous road - that goes on and on...and these Stupid little 2 feet high posts are the only thing seperating the Bus the bus the bus the bus THE BUS! (Pop-pops still Sings that) from sheer cliff and a possible downward nosediving Death. The busdriver would get to going too fast and have to break hard enuf that i had to hold on to Pop-pops, who could sense my terror and started to kick & squirm, tried everything in his power to get away from me so he could stand up and play with the damn cupholder he just almost lost his finger to. He was agitated as All at once the bus got very quiet - all you could hear was him screeching/me fussing with him...the energy was palpably fearful. Hushed and alert. The bus The Bus! was going too damn fast. My stomache started to hurt and i just wanted the ride to be over, already. Stop the Bus I wanna Get OFF!

(left to right: ghastly squooshed lil digit THE BuS! sidewayz the bus right side up)

I was never so happy to see flat freeway and San Luis Obispo! We were almost home. know, there's no place like home...there's No Place like Home.


Thanatos2424 said...

Gah! It's just the bus.
make it sound all interesting/terrifying
why don't you?

knitsteel said...

I have nightmares about bus rides like that, even though I've never experienced it. Now I'll probably dream that dream again tonight.

the heartful blogger said...

This is why I rarely take the bus, or when I do, dope myself up with travel sickness tablets so that it knocks me out for the entire journey.

Mathew Parkin said...

bus rides are scarier over there then here, we don't have cup holders!
thats sounds awful, I hope its healing, you all look adorable in the photos!
xx xx xx