Sunday, May 24, 2009

taking a break from the batshit crazy job that is packin'

because packing, to be honest - SUCKS the Big Greeen Donkey Dick, for sure! it's goddam Overwhelming me. So i'll stop for a little minute - to do something
Therapeutic and Fun

remember that Other Blog i started w/the hellish best of intentions to SELL my shit because i had just found out my brother & horrid sister-in-law fucked us over to buy their house so mortgaged out this one (established/completely Paid Off since 1943 omg!Nineteen Forty fucken Three!)- then as you know if you keep up with this twisty saga - wanted my mom and i to pay back their loan and/or sell it and consequently kick us out on the street???
Oh, i had me a Grand Scheme back then - so i set up this whole other blog called Lickety Split Rescue Aid Society....i love the play on words because it holds a way deeper meaning for me is Not gonna come to my rescue! i'm Horrible w/ my brother all the money i made by e-baying myself out? Was Not going to come to our rescue....But do you know what did come to the rescue, more importantly than financially but emotionally
Yep, it was art.
So i am hereby dedicating that blog - by posting my collection of Polaroids new & old. As an added poignant bonus; Polaroids are almost extinct! In a timely manner, Happy and i are hoarding film and celebrating something we will soon lose

which is the way we been rollin' around here....

In the wee small hours of the morning

i'm tired but i can't sleep, i'm winding up a very packed day of packing, i'm sonsa/loopy from trying to decide what to put in the big ole boxes and What?! was i just doing??? where is the goddam packaging tape, i have toooo much weird art supply, we have too much junka junk to sort thru for one person and now i
can't think....

i mean: i can't think of a Better time to do my drawing thingamajigger!! woo hoo...okay - so i counted eight peeps....

that's a goodly amount, don't you think? 8 is great...and i got good ones, too... exactly the kindsa kind commentors w/just the right amount of coolness and variety. and now here we are together - havin' us a lil lickety split drawing party... i feel funkily festive about this whole!
the fabacious 8 are: (in the order that they appeared)
all of yous get put into a hat and VOILA!

aww man, i was gonna send one her way because she asked so nicely...i better pick out another one

awww man, what if they want to remain anonymous, i better pick out another one

awww man! this looks like it's rigged....
although i'm glad G. won. if he called me up and said he won some random wacky drawing from the blogosphere, i'd be stoked. It feels good to be a winner, even if this is a trifle silly...all in good fun - Congratulations & here are the results:
1st, 2nd and 3rd place winners:

my e-mail address is me your address to claim your prize.
Well folks,
this was exciting for an old gal like me, and now i'm all poooped out. Thanks for playing, those who did....i'm off to Bedfordshire.

Friday, May 22, 2009

In the last few minutes of it - I want to wish the only brother i ever wished i ever had

This Lovely and Congratulatory Bowl of Beans

goes out to my scholastic two: Happy will be ending her senior year @ Nipomo High School w/a 4.0 gpa & a coupla unexpected scholarships (five and SIX hundred dollahs
we never even ASKED for in this economy)my girl - she's just that clever w/her visual artistry. Go, Happy!
G. took his last final of his sophomore university year & he totally aced it. Musically enuf, it was the ear training final and my G. has beautiful ears.

Meanwhile, back in the jungles of Nipomo, Changapeluda wants to Seduce somebody into a mad crusade

I want to seduce them into thinking i am way valuable and wildly intelligent. I want to seduce someone into going to the thrift store with me and spending the first hour on just the books. I want to seduce someone into driving me up north that really likes to travel down south. I want to seduce them into knowing i am the best kisser they have ever had. I want to seduce someone into keeping me around.

Then i want to cook them breakfast (something with honey & butter and lots of yummmm)
and then i want to seduce them some more. I want to seduce someone into thinking my art is magnificent to behold!
I want to seduce someone into carrying heavy things for me. I want to seduce someone into being on my side, no matter what. i want to seduce someone into helping me save my mother's legacy. I want to seduce someone into laying with me in a field of stone when the moon is full. I want to seduce someone into loving me forever~por vida....

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Some of the Strange Yard Treasures i'm moving to the side of the house

I save the weirdest shit. I can't help it. Oh well, at least i look like a big sturdy guy in this next picture!

and you know what? I am a big sturdy guy...a big sturdy guy you would totally ask to help you move. and who would be there. with bells on....
so Yeah, i also gotta move Zoe's house because Her's, (and my equity SUCKing brother's and his black hearted wet dogfart of a wife's house, too - don't forget) Did NOT GET FORECLOSED on! I am Movin' it on Outta here, La Casita de Zoe Pearl. only i don't even Know where....shit howdy this is the reality of it....jeez, where IS the nearest tent city?? I'm being very flippant, if you can't tell. That's just the kinda mood i'm in Plus, i got a place for us to stay. My cousin Little Josie said if worse comes to worse - i could stay with her. And Worse hasn't even come to worse, yet If at all....But mostly what i wanted to say (and show) with this post is that i am strong that i could put that doghouse in the damn moving truck all by myself, if i had to. The roof is detachable.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009


In a sweet ghetto twist: The least worse brother, who initiated all this trailer snatching drama? Can't even BE in San Luis Obispo County (according to his Probation Officer)he's restricted to Santa Barbara County....but just in case we bought a big ole lock for the trailer hitch!

Friday, May 15, 2009

Lickety Split Ass Kicking Service

Dear Blogger,
This is one of those times i want to thank you sooo much for even existing. I have some VISCERAL shenanigans goin' on right now and am soo PISSED/Riled UP/scarin' poor Pop-pops with my bad self....I gotta get this out of my head! I gotta come clean about it right now because i already have tooo many things inside this damaged head of mine (i keep having to remind people that my father dropped an un-skyhooked NAILGUN on it and that's why i'm like this!! - read my archives if you don't believe me) So ANYWAY FUCK i'm so fucking pissed off right now! Pissed and confused and Reactionary (like a Nuclear Reaction) I'm so pissed i'm freaking out and i can't even call anybody about it right now
okay here lemme explain - i could fucking spit nails so this poor keyboard is gettin' a Beating...
. One of my brothers just called and told our mother that he and the other, worser (sorry but he is) brother AND that dumb fucker bitch cousin of mine that stole those 1928 rims from the yard and wouldn't bring them back until after i wrote that poisoned pen letter -Those 3 unfortunate souls are coming over tomorrow to pick up my dad's work trailer - like it belongs to them with all my dad's old tools ( a few of them aren't even broken!)And boxes of old videos and family photos and a few toys. They seem to think they can back up their truck and TAKE MORE from here. I am Sooo SICK of people thinking they can just come here and take whatever the hell they want. If it's valuable and antique they think they should Have it. I've been at the No MAS stage for at least the last 3 rounds. And at the point where i feel Dangerous and Want to Kick some ASS....And they think they can just waltz on over here and nobody is gonna say nothin' - those fuckers have another thing coming. Especially the brother that got us into this mess in the first fucking place. Oh, he's gonna Get It. OMG. I am FUMING! fuming and plotting and writing my monologue. Also, i will be wearing sturdy overalls and steel toed boots.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Sometimes i feel like a NUT


is there anybody out there?
can anybody hear me?

Mmmm que la fregada....i was never one to care so much about being popular
(i mean poopular and/or pop out at parties)....but seeing the big goose egg in the ole comment section sometimes hurts my feelers! Mostly i write for myself but comments are fun/courteous/engaging/wanted....

For sure i know the following people read my blog

The Heartful Blogger
Girl of Approval
Glory Be
La Sirena
Danielle of DewBug Daycare
a cool chick named Dwyn
a transportable anonymous person
my least favourite babydaddy
Happy when i make her
Pinda used to
Buffy tambien
Super Jive (of I,Asshole fame) maybe

and i think that's it. Which is fine. Pretty cool, actually. I love my groovy cross sectionz of peoples i know & met thru cyberspace or gave birth to that come here regularly. But are there more, is what i want to know. i am bein' all trepiditious when i write this, i'll have you know; don't want you to get me wrong. i want more but worry about being greedy, when really i'm just Very curious....
as to who else might be comin' around here, clicking on a post or two, possibly enjoying themselves, reading my life, lookin at my pix. Is there anybody who is lurkey looing right this minute? If you are - & it's not too much trouble - can you leave a comment/spare an electronic dime/penny for your thoughts??

Here's what can happen/what i'm putting out in the Universe
Leave me a comment and i'll fix us up a Give-Away....a drawing/pick a random commentor out of a hat &
i will totally mail that commentor a found art/hobo/nut-headed angel or a groovy candy apple red sacred heart lovingly papier mache'd by yours truly,
or...what else? Ooh! how 'bout A Lickey Split Cleaning Service Wifebeater (A-line tank top for all you non-ghetto peeps if Any) w/orginal art by my Favourite Babydaddy (ironed on, of course) Even if you don't want a little of my so called art! Lemme hear from you, let it be your good deed for the never know,
you might Like it..

Monday, May 11, 2009

Happy Mother's Day, Mama!!

Oh! - my - GOD! We had such a good time on the side of the house yesterday. Not only did i completely avoid/hide out/not have to Deal with visits from 2 hoity toity aunts (which is always a plus because as they get older, they get meaner)... Pop-pops and i had So much fun - at one point we lost our pants, that's how much fun it was....
With joyful & messy ass enthusiasm, Pop-pops's favourite part was the squeeeezing out of the paint.
My favourite (and lovely) parts
1. my mom got me a creamy and expensive but worth it face lotion called eB5 that is only sold in finer department stores.
2. i got my mom scratchers called easy money and she won 25 bux on one and 2 two dollah ones. woo hoo
3. G. wrote me the most bitchen mother's day post i've ever read in my life on his blog. i keep thinking about how sweet but funnily sassy/jazzy (in a good acerbic way) it's written.
4. Happy gave me a heart necklace that i heart
and she gave me a card in which she wrote "I love you sooo much" at least six times.
5. Pop-pops was my energetic and far flinging partner in big messy art and turned me on to the accidental then deliberate drip-splat method of painting.

and 6. when my happy mother's day turned into night, i made a little time for Romance (in the dark) and papier mache'd by candlelight.
Oh, it was good to the last drop!
Being a single mom is hard but mostly it's Beautiful.
I Love my babies and they Love me. And so: To give credit where credit is due - my mother sure did a good job raising me, right?
For that, i am eternally grateful and inspired

Yeah...well those CockSucking Bank Knockers

Still haven't Shown UP! I am languishing in antsy/stupid anticipation for a very important piece of my jacked up puzzle. Mostly i'm puzzled at myself for wanting to take a picture of the person who will be delivering the piece of shit notice!Now, why would i want to do something like that? I feel like bloggin' about it, that's why. I wonder if they'll object to having their picture taken. Oh well, too bad so sad. instead of waiting haplessly for the door to be knocked on, this feels a little bit like a kodak moment, all staked out, aye.
Me and Happy, we are armed and ready!

Friday, May 08, 2009

This candle of St. Barbara

is actually for Santa Barbara, which is on fucking fire right now! (also this candle is for my aunt Glory Be whose stem cell transplant has been a smashing success. there is no sign of her cancer anymore, one month in)

i says to myself - Don't Crop it! Just leave it like it is

don't enhance it, or cut those cars out of the left side....don't mess w/more scenic colors. It's cool lookin', just like that. my beater kodak loves this old barn/shack down the street from my house.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Today i'm hanging out with this person

We'll probably be doin' our thing, practicing the orange blossom special, or we might swing a hammer or sling some paint around.

My Pop-pops is at a very cuddlesome stage and i totally appreciate it. Motherlove takes the sting out of this fucked up predicament of ours. Hell yes, i still love my life even though it sucks right now. Como que no?

here we are on the porch....waiting for the Bank Knockers and their 30day eviction notice. i was expecting them yesterday as our 60day notice to quit is Up.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

To: who so ever reads this post

May sometime today, you find yourself doing something that you really really love!

I plan on doin' some art

in particular and with the results being:
To Papier Mache my cares away!
i don't know if it's the soothing flour/water/little bit of salt mixture...or the orderly cut strips of newspaper...or the dripping layering calming creatingness of it all...that makes me love doing this

doing art is saving what little sanity i have left, for cryin' out loud!! i get so caught up in it, it transports me to a place where all i have to think about is what i consider to be beautiful and meaningful. and fun.
i especially like it when my art session has produced a mess
that looks like a crime scene. a violent one. i'm kind of gangster like that.