When i wasn't Lookin'

apparently i was Not paying attention because:
i feel like these things snuck up on me.
When did my damn nose get Loooonger (!)? Isn't it true that your ears and your nose get bigger as you get older? Well Jesus Hernandez Christ/Sangre de Dios, i honestly didn't think i was that old.
The good news (yes!)is my eyelashes grew back completely from their
chopped off nubbyness. Oh, how i remember that day, how hard i took it that my lashes got Hacked Off....i mourned their loss then promptly forgot to care... 'til one day - why, they grew back very nicely thank you, to their normal length. I may be vapid but Eyelashes are a big deal! To my Face especially...So is my honker! Is it me or is the tip of my schnozz getting flatter?! Is it changing shape (kinda platypus-like) ugh! will it split and look like a chin cleft cuz i could kinda see it already headed that way - shit, at this rate i could look like Karl Malden by the time i'm fifty. That's not going be very pretty. Look how sad i am about it....Pobrecita Changa narisona - my nose! it's only gonna get heftier. Cleftier....okay i'll stop.

Vanity thy name is Changa....

a random & slightly amusing end to this Peluda Post:

....the palm tree in front of St. Joseph's Catholic Church here in Nipas:
all of a sudden & to my surprise;

grew itself some big hairy balls.

Women of a Certain Age should not wear Ponytails

I'm just glad i don't know or care what that age is....Oh my goodsnakes, i look like my aunt Big Josie in this picture. She's my mom's oldest sister and she is Fierce. She does Not take shit from NObody....She's the tamalera and it's at her house that all the tamales get made. She's very earthy and generous & she can yell at the top of her lungs - loud & passionate - like her life (and yours)depended on it. Big Josie's house is always full of all kinds of Mexicans. From Oaxaca, MexiCali, Watsonville...she has taken in so many families and helped them until they could afford a place of their own. Hard working people that brought home fresh fresh vegetables and treated her like a queen. She's a big boned woman with large capable hands. She's an accomplished flirt, too. Coquetta. Glamorous, with big red lips and a smoky voice, scratchy (from All that yelling). She's my favourite cousin Little Josie's mom.... the reason i remind myself of her in this particular picture is because Big Josie is almost always in some kind of domestic motion. Serving delicious food, wiping counters, making masa....plus we have the same strong nose. Big Josie is one of those latinas that make me all proud to be one. Mexcentric & phat, am i. So that blade i am lovingly tending to - came off of this ginourmous tree splitter that my cousin (the same one who had those '28 Model A rims) tried to snag ...but i got very angry watching him thru the window. He backed up into the yard w/his truck and trailer even a damn winch to take Yet more antiques/scrap metal or just Whatever he happened to think was cool. I was pacing back and forth - now this is gonna sound crazy but i opened up my blogger account and started to Blog Furiously about it. And that somehow helped me to decide not to put up with his shenanigans...I was just going to let him take it....it's just stuff...but then during my furious typing, I thought how would he like it if i pulled up in his yard and just started taking whatever the hell i wanted...So i read what i wrote - something about how visceral this whole chingadero was and how strongly i felt about it...i put on some sunglasses and some lipstick and went out there and said my piece. I told him he probably hated it that i was home when he came to the yard to take stuff. He came back with if he didn't come and get it then somebody else would. We ended it with me saying that he had already gotten soooo much valuable stuff from here. My dad's monster van, my brother's beat up but still valid blazer, whatever big ass car part he wanted he took....I felt like saying, Get the fuck outta here and take your beady eyed greedy grabber buddy with you. His friend did NOT want to give it up, but between my mom and I - we got that blade. I think it's beautiful and i haven't quite decided what i want to do with it other than wash it and bring it in the house to gaze at in safekeeping. I'm kinda proud of me for sticking up for myself. I usually don't. Maybe one day i can be half as fierce as my mother's sister, Big Josie herself: That would be cool.

See you there! You Zulu Warrior! See you there! You Indian Chief!

and the little indians chant Chief! Chief Chief Chief! i tell them to keep on chanting as i sing:
I come a Zimba Zimba Ziyah
I come a Zimba Zimba Zeeeee
(i repeat this as many times as it's fun before the indians get outta control shouting)
CHIEF! CHIEF! CHIEF CHIEF!!!
& i pick up the melody:
Seeeeee you there you Zulu Warrior (the indians still chanting Chief, are usually compelled to do some crazy rain dance)
Seeeeeee you there, you Indian Chief, chief CHIEF....

Early morning Artsy Fartsy with my Pajama Tribe of DewBug Daycare....two of our biologicals...
Gibbers and Pop-pops wear their headdress proudly.

We've been travelin' lite

Mi Familia has been on the Go....From Santa Barbara to San Francisco. Happy and her Boy Posse needed a ride to a Reggae Concert at the SB County Bowl....and G. needed to move as his lease is up and it was time to Move On to a better San Francisco living situation. I think this time he'll stay. It's a cool household on Mission he's moving to and there will be a more in Depth post on a Co-Op(!) just how bitchen it all really is....I just like traveling so I was happy to do it. So let's start off with Santa Barbara, shall we? I dropped off the concertgoers and we headed to State Street.

The concert was 4 and half hours long so Pop-pops and I had plenty of time to amuse ourselves . We really got into enjoying the flora and fauna/public art and statues...Of course Pop-pops had to touch the small animal statues (can you blame him?) then he went so far as to grapple with this one sculpture

while i made out with this guy.....

We stayed on this street: Anapamu....i think it's Chumash for Park Here (thus you won't get lost)on your way to and from the Santa Barbara County Bowl. The Chumash Indians were very wise hunter gatherers that lived on our Central Coast and now they own a

Big Ass Casino in Santa Ynez...

We also played on the lush lawn and in the gorgeous trees...

And when the evening started getting late and balmy dark...my lil SB city street roamer and i strolled hand in hand (although his was verry squirmy and he preferred me to hold his Whole Body as opposed to just his hand)we passed by romantic dinings and some little bit of live music (some white guy singing "Stand by Me") we were glad that the concert at the bowl was finally almost over so that we could head up Anapamu - our street of the day that somehow became our friend and playmate. It was a good day we had. I like to think we all enjoyed it to the fullest.

Couldn't get the right angle/romantic feel i wanted

PDA's involving a statue are not only perverse and silly...it's hard to get a good picture of yourself doin' it! I think it's awesome/funny that it looks like the statue is taking the shot.
He was really into me.

Santa Barbara is so Spanish and Expensive

as a poor Mexican from Nipomo - i am rich enough to dream i can afford it. Como que no?

I get all puffed up and flufffy when i get to SF

Like a big fat mother hen.

I LOVE CITY LIGHT's BOOKS. I've wanted to marry Lawrence Ferlinghetti since i was

16 yrs old and heard him read his poetry in Santa Barbara (!) in a nice coincidental travelin' zippity doo.

i'm pretty sure it is totally illegal to snap pix of the insides of their merchandise but i got a nice big book of puro Billie Holiday off the shelf and opened it almost immediately to this picture. She was feelin' it and you can't see them but there are tears welling up in her eyes. I feeeel like that...a Lot. On this trip - i felt just like Billie; Especially when it came time to leave. But, oh we had fun while we were there! I get kinda fluffy just thinkin' about it.

San FRANCISCO!!! ( i don't mean Frisco)

Happy & G. are a very satisfactory brother sister set, if i do say so meself....The San Franciscan moves/visits keep getting better and better This time the trip to Chinatown was so much happier than Any i've ever taken there before. It was way impressive that G. knows his way around. Very Handy when it comes to ducking thru

this alley to get to City Lights Books....

Haeeaeyy! (fuck it, i can't spell it like i want to)

Look at G. he's all supporting his own self in this big city and if he looks a little perplexed it's because he is. Oh how i luv it that he's making it just the same. This kid knows what he's doing. He knows where he wants to go and more importantly he knows how to get there.

We were just having breakfast but i felt like it was a
Celebratory Feast.



















it's just so Much fun to just sit and listen to him talk and be in his presence

It made me miss him even though (and because) he is so

beautiful i couldn't look at him enuf.

So all in the same day i went South then I went North

Pop-Pops bothering the dolphins on State St.

And while i Love goin' Up, San Francisco has a huge chunka my heart....sometimes it's fun goin' down south and i forgot how beautiful fun Santa Barbara can be. The drive alone, with the mighty Pacific Ocean at your right for miles and miles - that ain't too bad, neither....

We are Back in the SWING

Of things....

Oh fuck it, i'm gonna have to get all touchy feely

Air out some jacked up emotions. And i must come clean about my in-ability to "be present". I just don't feel it. I'm going thru my life these last maybe 10 days and thinking, "Ugh! do i have to Deal with that, Again?!?" And i just don't wanna. My kids are in high bugging mode. My mother won't Shut Up. My dog needs a bath. The living room needs a good cleaning. The whole damn house needs a good cleaning (either that or fucking Bulldozed) & the piece of shit car is Falling Apart, I am always Having to DEAL with shit. Why can't i just DO what i want to do without getting a headache and or interrogated/pulled & poked at and/or have my energy/desire just sucked right outta me?? For maybe three days in a row i don't want anybody to ask me Anything.

Oh fuck it!, Fuck IT, i say. Also i just need to Get OVER myself already. It's not really that bad. It just feels like it is.

Plucky w/a hint of Lemony Snicket

I snapped this pic of my beautiful/motley crew the day after new year's this past January. I'm venturing into collage. At least i think i am. Happy says she can soften my cut-out rough edges w/photoshop. So it's a work in progress and Oh! how i LOVE my babies so it follows that i really dig this picture. All three of them look pretty spiffy, if i do say so myself. Happy's weapon of choice got scanned in the background. Drunks make her furious. Her uncle crossed the line, which (if you read this messiness you'll remember) resulted in a dainty smackdown w/the rolling pin. She's got moxie, my fierce young lady. This image brings to mind so many things for me:

How hard it is to live in this old house and how we've been doing it for 4 generations.

The off the cuff lecture on Never hitting a man who can beat the shit out of you if he wanted.
(don't be stupid w/your Brave intolerance)

If only Natalie Wood had starred in Bonnie & Clyde instead of Faye Dunaway....


How i wish i had Never cut Pop-pop's hippy child hair.


What a Fine Young Man my G. is.


How lucky that i get to be their mother.

All three of these people are highly, childishly, intelligently strong natured.

Also my reason for posting this slightly not current photo - I'm cross pollinatin' ya'll - I made a new cyber friend on OKCupid(!)...well 2 actually and they are both Chicks... Ha! Leave it to me to come away with cool penpals on a fricken internet dating service. So ohmylauren, here they are.


Front and center of my world, the magical three. G., Happy & Pop-pops, my own personal tribe of Delight. Always and forever.

Dewbuggin' It @ Pismo Beach

We've been leavin' Beautiful Nipomo on our beloved Bus, taking our Boogie Board with us. It's always Sunny in Nipomo. The wind is always perfect, too. As you get closer to the coast which is 9 miles away, it gets coastal foggier....but that never stops a Beach Boy like my Pop-pops (or Gibbers or Nicklebaby also of Dewbug Daycare).

Kids are funny that way. They don't need perfect weather, they just want to be Outside. With their friends. Havin' a good time.

Aw, Ain't life Sweeeeeet??

Yo Soy Una Pocha de Aqui

I used to say wetback less kindly and ignorantly so. Now i say it con carino....I got kinda pissed and/or bummed when i found out Cesar Chavez was against illegal immigration (stupid term). I don't think Any human being can ever be illegal. Just being, ya know what i mean? If there was a kick ass country right next door and you were starving wouldn't you come on over? Especially since California was Mexico to begin with HELLO! Anyway i love Cesar Chavez. I marched for him. Also - I once was lost but now i'm found was blind but now i see.

Happy Saturday, everyone. Hope it's a lovely one.

LICKETY SPLIT Dating Service

post-up art by babydaddy

It's all because of the writing that i have become Hooked/ADDICTED to OKCupid.com....plus there's the collective human condition of loneliness. But mostly it has to do with the writingz. Brilliant, beautiful men writing their own sexy profiles. Men who aren't afraid to sound like geeeks/overly sensitive...like chicks, really. I can't get enuf. And their favourite books! Oh they make my heart sing. Movies I have never even heard of that sound incredibly intelligent. I gotta major yen to watch more obscure movies....Which is always a good thing. Inclinations towards the obscure, that is....Talk about my aspirations of being easily inspired. PLUS this all coincided with my new penchant for taking extra slutty self portraits. What Liberating fun i'm having doing That. It goes hand in hand with online dating....Have i ever told you i Really like to read "OverHeard in New York"? Well I do. This is Just like that with a slim to none chance that I might get to actually cyberly interact with these people. It's tantalising. Only I made sure to share with G. that this is Not for him. I warned him not to get involved in something so stupidly highly addictive and fun even pointing out that there are probably No brilliant ultra young gay men from San Francisco on OKCupid....nope not at all....I made sure to highlight the Dangers of this. One Crazy Creeepy looking military guy who looks like he wants to hunt me down and kill me then stuff me in a suitcase and throw me in the ocean - he Thinks we make a LoveMatch! I winced when i clicked on his picture. Ew. He makes Robert DeNiro in Taxi Driver look like Mr. Rogers.... And still, I can't stop browsing. If their pictures are too icky i sometimes don't bother to read their profiles. If their pictures are too icky i sometimes MUST read their profiles. And there are some greatly shameless Perverts out there! It's deliciously scandalous but I prefer lasciviousness with the option to delete and at a big long distance. Yesterday, I made myself a lovely salad with all kinds of fresh vegetables and put a healthy helping in a great big bowl, Plopped myself in front of the computer and clicked thru OKCupid for HOURS....it was soo much fun. Then this morning Reality kicked in. I got a message from some very nice young man asking me why i was viewing his profile NUMEROUS times.....only I didn't! I never intentionally clicked on his profile even once. Oh shit. I wonder how many other people i clicked on Numerous times??? how embarrassing! Now i don't even want to go back because what if Mr. Creeepy face actually finds me??? I fucked up on OKCupid. Sad. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.