Can't Sleep.

And when i do - i dream that it rains on all the stuff strewn all over the backyard. There are belongings from 4 generation's out there, ya'll! My family portraits which apparently mean a great deal to me even though they were in a clothes basket in the van. Wrapped carefully with a serape between each and every picture...It's been blissfully sunny though and i brought the basket in. It is Day 3 of the Big Dumpster Fill and I am beyond looopy. My back and my shoulder wheelbarreling muscles are sore as hell. Good thing my crazy ass colorful antics are doing a Great Job of keeping my spirits Up! ( very very important) See the colorful as all get out serapes i flung onto the big ole cactus? My favourite aunt planted that succulent sucker when she was just a little girl (she is now 55). She brought it home from school in a paper cup. Now it's as big as a VW Bug. I took a chainsaw to it one year and made it look like a trimmed up artichoke. Every so often it sprouts this funky phallic lookin' asparagus thinger that grows about thirty feet high before it just kinda falls over....I plan on making a trellis out of it this year. But that's after all this losing Our Family Home fiasco gets resolved. When you're dealing with a Liar, though...it's extra hard. As we all know when you lie, you gotta lie even more to cover up other lies and then it snowballs. Supposedly the county sent my brother a letter saying we needed to get rid of the junk cars, city ordinance and something about only 2 non-working vehicles per lot. We have 2 lots and 4 junk cars....Then he says that it has to be done by the 20th. Which i figured out is a Sunday. When government/county/yard inspectors are all havin the day off. Goin' to church....

then my brother the lying sack of shit says it's the next day.....which i figured out is Martin Luther King Jr.'s Birthday and a National Holiday. He needs to come up with better lies. We've been keeping on opposites of sides of the backyard. I bring him out cold water when i get one....he's working So Hard. And i keep trying to keep up w/him. Like i'm working for a mean supervisor, like i'm gonna get fired. I have a stash of stuff i've boxed (getting up Very early before he gets here) under a tarp to sort thru when i have more time otherwise he'll just throw it in the dumpster. This is stuff i plan on selling at a very profitable yard sale. He sneers at me and asks, "You think you're gonna sell this??" I sure as fuck am gonna try! Then my cousin came back for another junker and I heard my brother say, " You want that? Take it!" about any old cool and sellable carpart we have out there. WTF? Doesn't he realize I'm trying to make money to keep the house? Doesn't he realize he's giving away stuff that IS NOT his? My mom kept coming out today and offering him food. Warm tortillas must be his cryptonite because his guilty conscience won't let him take a bite. And here i am trying to kill him with kindness when i really wanna give him a boot in the ass. But I'm smart enuf to know that now is not the time to pick a fight. Them peacekeeping angelz are totally working overtime. And i keep finding strength in the strangest of places, I ain't giving up! Mostly because: This is our home and I told my mother not to worry, that everything is gonna be alright.